Saturday, June 22, 2013

boxing up

Today I helped a woman pack up her life. She has cancer and will soon go home. 

I went through her papers and photos. I decided what should be shredded and what should be kept. It was sobering. I found myself holding back the tears as I sat on the floor catching just a glimpse of her adventures and her life. It was so hard, realizing that we were helping her put her life in order. 

She has so much she still wants to do. She's worried about hurting feelings and treating the people around her with love as she deals with being very, very sick and leaving behind the life she loves here. Her body is starting to have to work much, much harder to do even the simple things like lift her hand to her mouth. Her attitude is the best, she's still laughing and enjoying the life she has. I hope I can be more like her in living and appreciating the life I have no matter what.

All week I've been thinking about her, praying for her, hoping for a last minute miracle. I have also done a lot of thinking. How life is so short, too short, too often. There's so much I want to do. That God has a plan for each of us. That it's the plan even when it seems like the plan has been abandoned and thrown to the wind. That I'd like to know more of the plan up front sometimes. And that life really is good even when it's not, and I would not trade this life for anything.

Above all I was thinking that I know she's in good hands. We all are. 

And I kept thinking about this quote:

God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn.
 - Elder Uchtdorff, General Conference, April 2o13

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