Monday, June 1, 2009

What I want to be...


"Hey, Christine when you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?" T.G. asked me today at work. I started to laugh, thinking back on everything I had ever thought of doing in my life.

I recall distinctly two things I wanted to do when I was little. First, I wanted to be a nurse like my Grandma B. She had magic hands that always made me feel better and I wanted to be able to do that for people, because feeling better when you feel crappy is such a wonderful thing. This lasted until the day I was left in charge of my younger siblings and my then obnoxious little brother skinned off his thumb knuckle with his brand new Boy Scout hatchet. I discovered I don't do so well with blood. I did manage to retain enough presence of mind to wrap his thumb in a towel, apply pressure to try to stop the bleeding, and then call our neighbor, Norene, to take him to the doctor for stitches. I think I all but passed out. Thus ended my days of wanting to be a nurse.

Next I wanted to be a teacher like my Grandma O, who taught in the Logan City schools for a very long time. I remember how fun her classrooms looked when I visited her. She had really great bulletin boards full of colour and fun characters. For Halloween, there was an eight foot tall, cone-shaped paper witch with green or orange hair outside her classroom door. Not only was she teaching, but she was being an artist as well. It looked so fun to be a teacher--I wanted to do that. This is the little when-I-grow-up-dream has stayed with me over the years. I think eventually I will teach.

So tomorrow during lunch I'm going to be interviewed by my over achiever co-worker. She's pregnant, on active duty in the Navy and in school with a crazy credit load. She's going to ask me a few questions about what I wanted to be when I grow up. Very fun to think about being a kid again with the open book of dreams ahead of me.

Over the years many variations on this dream have crossed my mind and I've been able to try a lot of things. In many ways I still feel no closer to knowing what I want to be when I grow up. I have discovered that what I want to do is the means to what I'd really like to be when I grow up. Being, in so many ways influences the ability to do. It is by by imagining, then creating and doing--by living--that what I want to be is achieved.

So, what I do want to be? Happy.

And I am.

2 comments:

deb sorensen said...

me too, me too...I love being a teacher as well...Glad your gramma had it down for so long...I still see so many who tire over the years and forget to do the fun stuff or ONLY do the fun stuff...good luck!

Globe Trecker said...

Great post, self introspection is always a good thing. Being happy ... a good thing, always:)

Pretty picture, too.