Saturday, November 20, 2010

until everything is right

if you wait to do everything until you're sure it's right, you'll probably never do much of anything. ~~win borden

This is so true. The boundaries I put around myself are so ridiculous and stifling. And when I look back, in some instances, it's with a bit of regret and sadness for allowing myself to sit and do nothing because I was waiting for everything to be right.

Here's an example: I am working on singing again. There is a part of me that says that in order to sing I need a piano, that I can't sing seriously until I have a piano and that it wouldn't be right for me to work on singing without a piano. In reality, my voice doesn't sound any better or worse with a piano. A piano is a useful tool for when I can't quite hear the notes in my head and can't get them to come out right. However, a piano could be a distraction from the singing itself, because I love to play the piano and it's easier than singing.

Singing is scary for me at times. I'm trying to work through this. It's hard to open my heart up that much and put all that naked emotion out for the world to see. I makes me uncomfortable and just a little afraid. I feel like singing is the opening of Pandora's box, and I'm not quite sure what will come out. And now I'm thinking that I don't need to be worried about what comes out, because in the end what was left in the box was hope.

But in order to find the hope, the box had to opened.

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