I am ending my subscription to eHarmony. After a year of receiving matches, I am done, fed up and just a little disheartened with the whole concept.
You've seen the ads promising a true match. The promise of actual compatibility on so many levels, 29 nine levels to be exact, that you will actually feel as though you've actually known each other for so long before you actually meet. And then follows the video montage of actual couples, showing just how actual and true their compatibility is and how grateful they are to have actually met through eHarmony which showed them in the first place just how compatible they actually are.
Actually, I think I'll pass.
The first six months were free, the next six were not. Paying money to find love just feels ridiculous to me and too much like selling myself short. But I decided to give it a chance on a supposedly grown up dating web site. I was open to the whole experience and hoping to meet men outside my circle of friends.
Then I started receiving matches, most of whom lived in California, Utah, Colorado, Iowa, Idaho, Washington, Montana, Wyoming and Arizona, a few of others lived in New York and Georgia, at least two from Alaska and less than a handful from Virginia or Maryland. They all live so far away and I'm not a fan of long distance dating relationships.
The majority of potential matches never attempted communication or responded to my attempts for communication. Those that did respond closed the match, by stating: "The physical distance between is too great." Yep, I agree with that. I don't want intense bursts of romance every two or three months when our travel budgets will allow. I want every weekend between now and then, with a few extra days in between thrown in for good measure.
My favorite part of the eHarmony experience was when I received messages telling me to lower my standards to increase the likelihood of receiving even more matches. I do not drink alcohol, and said so when asked in the compatilibility quiz. When asked if alcohol consumption was something I would allow in my own partner I said no. I'm not asking for the impossible or incredible, or even for something I'm not willining to do myself. However, eHarmony kept insisting that I would receive more matches if I would change this requirement! Uh, no I won't. Thank you very much.
So, after a total of 177 matches, 141 of which either myself or they closed stating the physical distance between us was actually to great, 31 of which received some form or other of communication from myself or them, and 3 where no communication whatsoever was exchanged, I'm done. I'm done.
eHarmony will be a non-event in my past. I refuse to sell myself short in the quest for love. I will be open to whomever comes way and doesn't set off the internal alarms. I will continue to live my life and live it well. I will laugh, cry, spend time with friends, spend time alone, be present, go for runs and walks, pray, cook, read, make music, dance on ocassion, enjoy the moment, travel, learn and hope.
I will be true to myself.
image from here