Sunday, May 30, 2010

to be where i am

Remember this post from a few weeks ago about waiting upon the Lord? Well, it seems that I hadn't internalized that message very well.

This may sound a bit random.  For several weeks my right foot was itching for no reason whatsoever. I hadn't been bitten by a bug and there's no poison ivy or oak around my house.  My skin wasn't red or swollen. I rubbed anti-itch cream into the itchy spot and got no relief. My foot just itched and I couldn't figure out why.

I have been a little anxious lately to get on with my life, or in other words itching to move and do more.  I have a good life, right here, right now.  I like my both my jobs, civilian and reserves.  They are challenging,  I'm learning a lot, and having some great opportunities to spread my wings and take charge.  I am learning what kind of a leader I am, and getting to know myself better.  I am quite happy with my church responsibilities, my friendships and my activities.  My life isn't too busy and it's not too dull, in fact I would say it's just about right.

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about my anxiouness to get on with life.  As we talked and shared ideas, I was able to ask myself questions about my current life situation and what I should be doing.  As we talked and I listened, I felt strongly impressed that I am in the right place doing the right things, that there are important reasons for me to be right where I am.  I really stopped and held on to that feeling.  I also spent time trying to internalize this by acknowledging to God that I had heard him and would try my hardest to simply be where I am.  Even now while writing this, I'm holding onto that feeling.  Call this my public acknowledgement of that feeling.

My mom even called me out of the blue this week to tell me that for several weeks there have been times when she will be thinking of me and feel strongly impressed that I need to be sure to be right where I am supposed to be.  She said she didn't know why, but that was what she was feeling, and she wanted to be sure I got the message.  I love my mom!  Thanks for reinforcing everything I was feeling and thinking.

Over the past few weeks I have tried to remember that where I am is where I am supposed to be.  There's still a small part of me that is excited to see what's ahead, but for the most part I am content to focus on the present and the reasons I am where I am right now.  I have spent a lot of time thinking about all this and trying to feel God's guidance more fully in my life.  I figure if he's telling I'm in the right place, then maybe I should be asking how I can serve him better right here, right now.  The answers have been surprising, quiet and not impossible to achieve.

Oh, and my foot has finally stopped itching.  I guess I literally was "itching to move forward" in my life, and now that I've acknowledged God's hand a little more fully in my life and internalized the message, the itching has stopped.

I am content to be where I am.

1 comment:

Angela said...

What a beautiful message. One of the best things in life is to be able to listen & acknowledge those inner thoughts. Nothing changes life more than listening to those thoughts/inspiration and acting on them.