Tuesday, May 17, 2011

let go

I found this piece too, which I originally wrote in January 2011. I wish that I thought it was still so easy...

This new year started off with a bang.  Lots of exciting things happening in my life, that I'm savoring and keeping close for now.  But let me tell you, good things are happening.

Last week, I met with a good friend who has the gift of helping others to see themselves the way God sees them.  I love meeting with her to talk about life, ask questions and learn how to focus myself more fully through God's lens.  As we talked last week, I felt impressed to focus on living the life I've had playing out in my heart for a while.  You know, the life for which I've always secretly wished and kept under wraps, because it all seemed too fragile to put out in the open, and I know you know, because you too have wishes and hopes hiding out in your heart.

So, this week in just the few days where I've practiced focusing on letting go and just letting my dreams and hopes turn into reality, some fun and interesting things have happened.  My heart has been lighter, happier, more full of hope. My smile has been easier and less strained.  I am so absolutely full of contentment, resolve and happiness I could just swim in it, spend the afternoon lazing about in the utter decadence of it all.  Because, really it feels so utterly decadent to feel this contented.  It's like, I've been holding myself back for a really long time and suddenly now I'm not.

Answers to a problem came easily to me in the middle of the night, causing me wake up and lose a half night's sleep, but suddenly I knew how to articulate everything I wanted to say in a situation with which I'm struggling.  My faith has grown roots 200 feet deep overnight it seems and it's an amazing feeling.  And the resolve that comes with such an explosion of faith is steadying and freeing.

Happiness is meant to be this year, and I'm going to focus on pulling it out and making it last as long as I can.  I have this image of pulling a piece of taffy out until the strings are so thin and tenuous that they break, but it doesn't matter because it's still taffy.  I'm going to savor each moment, no matter how small, revel in the explosion of flavor and sweetness to every last drop, and just be happy.

I am in awe when I stand back and look at all this, because it's all so easy.  Easier than I ever imagined to just let go and truly put it all in God's hands and say, "I trust you. Take these dreams of mine, take this heart of mine and make it all real." I know it might not all turn out they way I want or the way I dreamed, but I have learned from experience, both bitter and sweet, that when God is let go then what happens in my life is so much better than I could have ever imagined or dreamed for myself.

Here's to the year
of happiness
of letting go of dreams and letting God do his work
of dreams becoming realities in ways that are so much better than I ever dreamed.

It's all possible, I just know it.

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