--Iowa, USA - Boyer Press Assoc.
On Saturday afternoon just hours after opening all the Christmas presents, the infamous Decepticon, Megatron, kidnapped Thomas the Tank Engine, who was dramatically rescued within minutes by the fearless Autobot leader, Optimus Prime.
"I'm so amazed that Megatron would come after me, after all I'm just a wooden toy train," said Thomas, his smokestack still puffing black smoke after his daring rescue. "Thanks to Optimus Prime and his Autobots for intercepting the evil plans of Megatron. I hope this didn't mess up Christmas too badly."
Optimus Prime looked a little chagrined when pressed for more details about the rescue feat, and admitted that "most of the credit goes to Ghent (his three-year old owner), who masterminded the whole rescue plan." Witnesses confirm that Megatron was not alone in the surprise kidnapping of Thomas, and that the whole thing was planned and carried out by Aunt Christine.
In other news, on Friday afternoon, Christmas Eve day, the Justice League of America arrived at a small, green house in the suburbs of central Iowa just seconds after receiving word that a kidnapping had occurred. The father of the family had gone to the grocery store for a last minute purchase of cheese ball, when word came out that he had been kidnapped by evil doers. Super Man and Wonder Girl interrogated all the toys using the Lasso of Truth which forced everyone to "tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth..." They then led a dramatic rescue and saved Dad from the villainous clutches of those who oppose Christmas. After all the drama subsided, Dad arrived back at the house safe and sound with the cheese ball in perfection condition, and with no recollection of the events (of course!). He spent the weekend under observation for further memory lapses.
Also, in quieter news, Sunday morning Optimus Prime announced that he and his crime fighting partner, Ghent, were opening a new restaurant together. Early customers complained about the mixed drink Spinzah, an imaginary concoction of ginger ale and milk. Dad didn't like it very much and spit it out. Other customers commented that the bread soup was quite good as well as the side of butter sandwich. Megatron was nowhere to be seen, it's assumed he was recuperating after losing his arms and having them be replaced during the Thomas the Tank Engine kidnapping.
All in all a succesful crime fighting weekend.