gray

so, i looked in the mirror today and noticed i have gray hair.

actually, upon closer examination i have gray hairs.

i'm not sure how i feel about that.

two years ago i didn't have any gray on my head. but then the last two years have been heart stopping, breath taking, life changing years.

i'm growing up and i guess growing just a little older.

or should i say, just a little more experienced.

'color icon gray' from commons.wickimedia.org

looking for a place

I’m looking for a new place to live, which can fun or really frustrating.

Today was frustrating.

Today I need to smile and dream...

I have an unlimited budget for housing and utilities.

I would petition the city for this building.

It was erected in 1894. The marble plaque in between the windows says so.

Look at that space on the left. I’m thinking landscaping, a tiered vegetable garden, a water feature, and a small table and chairs under a tree. I love how wide it is. Maybe I’d make two houses… or not.

Off street parking, oh baby! I just think it has so much potential.

Plus look at that brick work. Gorgeous!

I would leave the Engine House No 10 lettering right where it was. And the fire pole too.

Or maybe I want to live in yellow or purple. What color would you paint your house?

I want to live in a skinny house on a corner with this great yard. I love this house. It’s old, it needs work.

I love that it’s on a corner and it has funny angles in the rooms. So much potential. So much work!


Or maybe I want round tower rooms and a balcony for my matching castles.
“Rapunzel let your hair down. It’s me, your Prince Charming.”
I think I would just have to put this sofa in one of the round rooms. A girl can dream, right?


This just makes me smile. I love all the colors and the skyline marching down the block.
One of these things is not like the other.
It makes me smile and I need this today.

Pray that I find a good, safe place to live. Thank you.
photos by me on capitol hill, dc

saying no

i said no.

to a really great opportunity. it would have been really fun, a great growing experience and a dream come true adventure.

i said i was going to say yes, but then cried myself to sleep with a tummy ache. i even tried to write an email saying yes, but couldn't. i finally wrote one saying no, and then waited a few hours before sending to see how it felt.

i finally had peace. my head and my heart were in alignment. nothing inside me was fighting the decision, so i said no. it feels so good to say no sometimes.

but sometimes it's difficult when it's something you really want. it can mean letting of dreams, choosing to turn in a different direction or continuing right where you are. often it means choosing to grow up a little more.

if you listen to that still small voice in the deepest part of your heart and follow it, then you will find peace. that makes it a little easier and provides comfort. that's when you know God has got you in his hands.

the good news:
i'll be around these here parts for a while. yay! this makes me happy.

photo by me: sunset in porto venere, italia

baby steps

do you ever stumble and catch yourself?

have you ever fallen up the steps?

have you been walking along in your cute heels when suddenly for no ovious reason your ankle tricks out on you and you end up catching yourself and almost sprawling face down on the sidewalk?

are you ever just walking along and catch the front of your shoe on the sidewalk and do a face plant?

i've done all of these and can attest--OUCH!

more often it's my pride that pains me at being caught in an unflattering moment.
at times i have had bruises and skinned knees to prove how inept i am at walking a straight line.
i don't even ingest alcohol. it's just me at my best and most klutzy.

honestly, it's enough to keep a girl humble.

lately, i feel like i've been taking lots of baby steps. learning how to walk again.
getting closer to figuring out what direction i should be heading.
i think, that maybe, just maybe, i'm getting close to figuring out the next step.

here's hoping.

photo from: originalquill.com

change

A few days ago, I saw this on a tree near my block.

Fall is in the air. Leaves are slowly beginning to change color. Trees will soon shed their leaves. The sky is a beautiful crystal clear blue only found in DC in September. A change from the hazy, gray humid skies of summer. Yes, change is in the air and I can see it.

remember

I remember where I was last year on 9-11.

In the midst of the chaos of war, it's not often that you stop and take a moment to be quiet and reflect. Last year in Afghanistan, we came together for a small remembrance ceremony. One Sailor read a his brother's firsthand account of his experience in New York City on 9-11-2001. Another read 'A Fireman's Prayer' and another 'A Policeman's Prayer'. We remembered the ones who died on that day, as well as our own brothers and sisters in arms who have given their lives in Afghanistan, so that we never have another 9-11. I sang 'Let There Be Peace On Earth'.

"Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With God as our fatherBrothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony."

When it comes right down to it, the reason we are in Afghanistan is that we are hoping, praying and fighting for peace. Ironic that sometimes it takes war in order to have peace. I can't wait for the day when Peace comes.

I've always felt the best way to honor the people who were victims on 9-11 is to live an honorable life, serve others, work hard, be honest, choose the right, pray for peace and always remember.

this just makes me smile... and dance

500 days of summer from fox searchlight studios

great flick.
this is not a love story. this is a story about love.

good morning

i love the quiet monday morning of a holiday weekend.

on a normal monday i wake up quite early to street music. the bum-bum-bum-m-m-p of the bass serenade from the back of a car. the clank and grind of a garbage truck. the voices of dogs and their people walking, stopping, pooping and scooping. the tap, tap, tap, tap, tap of a runner putting in miles. a high pitch beep of a car alarm disengaging, then the slam of a door and a motor coming to life. the open and shut creak of the entrance gate as occupants come and go from row houses. water rushing through the pipes in the walls. childrens' voices as they arrive at school on the next block over. and finally, the buzz of my alarm clock.

yes, i have a symphony surrounding me each day--all the noise and music of people's lives enter mine whether i like it or not.

but this morning... quiet.
i reveled in it and then fell asleep for another hour with no alarm.

happy labor day.
i hope you can take time away from your labors to enjoy the day.

photo from: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/capitalweathergang/2008/02/virga_dawn.html

Afternoon at the Museum

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder they say. I think art is too. I had a great afternoon at the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery and American Art Museum. It’s definitely worth a visit and I wanted to share some favorites with you. All the art is from the online Smithsonian Collections.

The National Portrait Gallery has a fascinating exhibit on Feature Photography.

I got lost in that space which Kathleen is staring into. I wanted to ask, "Where are you? What are you seeing?" Her kitchen is so ordinary, but her facial expression is certainly not. Photographer Katy Grannan shot her as part of a series for an article exploring the effects of post traumatic stress syndrome in Iraq War veterans. "Photography is a kind of permission; it’s a way in. It’s a catalyst for extraordinary experiences that would otherwise not be possible."

I had to stop and wonder what Adelyn, Ash Wednesday, New Orleans, Louisiana was thinking. She was photographed by Alec Soth. I really liked his thoughts about this collection. “In putting together a collection of my best portraits of women, I’m trying to come to terms with how I honestly see and depict women. Are my pictures romanticized? Sexualized? Why do I see women in this way? For me, photography is as much about the way I respond to the subject as it is about the subject itself.”

Untitled (Kara on Easter Sunday) made me laugh. Kara doesn’t look too happy and in my mind's eye I envisioned her as her adult self, and I'm not sure she's any happier. I just couldn’t help but laugh at her apparent misery. Jocelyn Lee’s collection was simple and beautiful. She writes of her work, “I photograph because I am interested in people, what it means to be alive, and how we make sense of the world.” I also like the next photo from her collection.

I loved Untitled (Jocelyn with moth). What is she dreaming of? The colors are gorgeous here. And that moth on her hand is huge!

Martin Schoeller specializes in really close close-ups. I like it. “A photographic close-up is perhaps the purest form of portraiture, creating a confrontation between the viewer and the subject that daily interaction makes impossible, or at least impolite. In a close-up, the impact stems solely from the static subject’s expression or apparent lack thereof, so the viewer is challenged to read a face without the benefit of the environmental cues we naturally use to form our interpersonal reactions.”

Of course, Angelina Jolie is beautiful and when you’re staring at a 4’x5’ reproduction of her face her beauty is even more apparent as are her imperfections. Martin captures her beautifully.

Barack Obama. And seriously his head is a really odd shape and his ears aren’t in focus. He almost looks like a cartoon character. I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but really Martin, this is the shot you chose.

A short walk down the hallway re-tracing your footsteps and you enter the American Art Museum. Here's a peek at the Twentieth Century-Art collection.

Manhattan by Georgia O’Keeffe--“One can’t paint New York as it is, but rather as it is felt.” I just smiled and smiled when I saw this one, and I’m not sure why.

In the Gilded Age collection I loved September Afternoon by George Inness. I just wanted to soak up all this color and roll around in it.

I think I'm coveting a job in downtown DC. I would come here to eat lunch and wander around. I'll be back lovely museum. See you soon.