The spirit of Christmas is something I hope all of us would have within our hearts and within our lives, not only at this particular season but also throughout the years.
A wise Christian once urged, "Let us not spend Christmas ... but let us keep Christmas in our hearts and in our lives."
This is my plea tonight, because when we keep the spirit of Christmas, we keep the Spirit of Christ, for the Christmas spirit is the Christ Spirit. It will block out all the distractions around us which can diminish Christmas and swallow up its true meaning.
There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to principles taught by Jesus Christ.
Pres. Thomas S. Monson, 2011 First Presidency Christmas Devotional, Because He Came.
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god. Show all posts
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
to err is human
Recently, I talked with a friend who was beating himself up over something really stupid that he had done. It wasn't anything immoral or criminal. It was one of those universal momentary lapses in judgement, where something inappropriate was said, that we have all had at one point in our lives. However, because it involved another person, and perception is reality, it had farther reaching effects than he ever anticipated. Obviously, there is more to the story, but this is enough to get the general idea.
As we talked, he told me that he couldn't let it go, because to do so felt like he was letting himself off the hook and not taking responsibility for what he had done. In fact he had done everything he could to make amends for what he had done. He owned up to and immediately recognized his mistake, apologized, and received and complied with the immediate consequences.
Now he has to live with the longer term consequences of his actions and the fact that the person involved will be affected by those consequences as well. It was a painful conversation to have with him, because he really feels bad and wants to take the brunt of the consequences so the other person is unaffected. He is also a person who doesn't have too much faith in himself and his accomplishments. He tends to beat himself up over his lack of accomplishments and his mistakes. He rarely recognizes the good things in himself. And this incident is re-enforcing his lack of trust in himself.
As we talked, it became clear to me that he really did need to let this go and move on. I told him: You are bigger than this incident. The sum total of who you are as a person is much bigger than this one incident. You need to remember that you are human and imperfect; therefore, you make mistakes. You need to recognize, not just, your error, but also the lessons learned and then move forward, letting this go but holding onto the lessons. I'm not saying you won't remember this and you won't feel bad about the consequences, but you cannot let this one incident define who you are. Learn from this, let it go, and move onto become better.
My friend listened and then said: You know this is easier for people who believe in God. People who believe in God seem to have an easier time moving past things like this.
My friend is agnostic, so I can't have the same conversation with him that I would have with most of my friends about giving it to God, letting him take care of it, and asking for and receiving God's forgiveness. I did think it was illuminating that he was the one bringing God into the conversation when I had made no mention of him in what I told him previously.
My friend started to go on to give more reasons why he couldn't let this go, when I impatiently interrupted: With or without God in your life, you need to move on from this and, yes, forgive yourself. You will hold yourself back if you hold onto this and let it define you. For you this isn't about faith in God, this is about your faith in yourself, your trust in yourself. This is about you taking responsibility, which you have done, and accepting the consequences, which you are doing. This is about being man enough to say: I made a mistake. I will learn the needed lessons here and move forward. I will remember to be better in similar situations. This is about you learning to accept and forgive yourself.
The phone was silent. As I waited for him to respond I had this thought: I need to take my own advice.
We continued our conversation, but that thought stayed with me. And I thought how fortunate I was to know that God lives, hears my prayers, knows my heart and has faith in me.
I don't know if any of what I said helped my friend, but I know it helped me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about our conversation. I hope my friend can find the way to move forward from this and allow himself to let it go.
As we talked, he told me that he couldn't let it go, because to do so felt like he was letting himself off the hook and not taking responsibility for what he had done. In fact he had done everything he could to make amends for what he had done. He owned up to and immediately recognized his mistake, apologized, and received and complied with the immediate consequences.
Now he has to live with the longer term consequences of his actions and the fact that the person involved will be affected by those consequences as well. It was a painful conversation to have with him, because he really feels bad and wants to take the brunt of the consequences so the other person is unaffected. He is also a person who doesn't have too much faith in himself and his accomplishments. He tends to beat himself up over his lack of accomplishments and his mistakes. He rarely recognizes the good things in himself. And this incident is re-enforcing his lack of trust in himself.
As we talked, it became clear to me that he really did need to let this go and move on. I told him: You are bigger than this incident. The sum total of who you are as a person is much bigger than this one incident. You need to remember that you are human and imperfect; therefore, you make mistakes. You need to recognize, not just, your error, but also the lessons learned and then move forward, letting this go but holding onto the lessons. I'm not saying you won't remember this and you won't feel bad about the consequences, but you cannot let this one incident define who you are. Learn from this, let it go, and move onto become better.
My friend listened and then said: You know this is easier for people who believe in God. People who believe in God seem to have an easier time moving past things like this.
My friend is agnostic, so I can't have the same conversation with him that I would have with most of my friends about giving it to God, letting him take care of it, and asking for and receiving God's forgiveness. I did think it was illuminating that he was the one bringing God into the conversation when I had made no mention of him in what I told him previously.
My friend started to go on to give more reasons why he couldn't let this go, when I impatiently interrupted: With or without God in your life, you need to move on from this and, yes, forgive yourself. You will hold yourself back if you hold onto this and let it define you. For you this isn't about faith in God, this is about your faith in yourself, your trust in yourself. This is about you taking responsibility, which you have done, and accepting the consequences, which you are doing. This is about being man enough to say: I made a mistake. I will learn the needed lessons here and move forward. I will remember to be better in similar situations. This is about you learning to accept and forgive yourself.
The phone was silent. As I waited for him to respond I had this thought: I need to take my own advice.
We continued our conversation, but that thought stayed with me. And I thought how fortunate I was to know that God lives, hears my prayers, knows my heart and has faith in me.
I don't know if any of what I said helped my friend, but I know it helped me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about our conversation. I hope my friend can find the way to move forward from this and allow himself to let it go.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
thoughtful thursday: desire
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| pod from nat'l geographic |
Let us remember that desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions. In addition, it is our actions and our desires that cause us to become something, whether a true friend, a gifted teacher, or one who has qualified for eternal life.
-El. Dallin H. Oaks, April 2011 General Conference
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
moving
So, this moving thing has thrown me for a bit of an psycho-emotional loop. (Yes, I'm psycho and yes I'm emotional.) It's been a little scarier than usual to make this move and it's only four blocks--that's right only four blocks. You'd think this would be easier compared to moving from Utah to DC or putting my stuff in storage to head off to Afghanistan. I'm even way more organized for this move than I have been for any other moves. I'm just determined to make this as physically painless as possible and it's working.
But, and yes there is a but, I'm having a bit of trouble emotionally making this move. It turns out that this is a pretty big step for me towards the life I have always envisioned for myself and it's scary as heck! Funny and a bit scary just how much this move represents for me.
I've been resisting moving on from a couple of issues in my life and this move to a bigger, above-ground space has opened up a whole set of dragons to be dealt with in order to feel good about this change. It's all good and what's been boiling up to the surface really is stuff that needs to be dealt with, and initially it was proving much more difficult than I thought.
So, why is it that fear rears its ugly head when great things are happening or good decisions are being made? Why am I so afraid of good things happening? Well, that's a question I took to a good friend who has a gift for helping people see themselves as God sees them and also for helping them "let go and let God." In talking with her about my feelings, I've seen once again just how much God loves me and how aware of me and my problems He is. He really does know me, what I need and he gives it so freely.
I know this stuff. It's not anything new to me, but what is amazing to me is how easy it is for him to heal and give answers sometimes. I shouldn't be so surprised by this, but I always am, just a little. It's like I don't quite trust the system yet, even though time and time again it's been proven to work. I think that somehow maybe I'm not truly worthy of help or a quick answer, but as it turns out I'm just afraid. God sees my fear and works through it anyway. I'm working on that having no fear thing, and I'm guessing it will be a life long project.
In the meantime, I'm concentrating on moving forward with faith and putting those things over which I have no control in God's hands. After all he created this world, so I'm pretty certain he can create good stuff out of my personal chaos and help me tame my inner dragons.
I really love my cute, little apartment. It's been a cozy refuge from the storm for me, even with all the craziness of break-ins, mice and birds that have happened over the past few months. It's been good for me to be on my own and see what I'm capable of doing.
I'm excited for my new space, and I'm going to have soooo much space. I'm going to have lots of sunlight, a front and back garden to care for, and a front porch to sit on and read. And this is the life I've dreamed of having for a long time now, and I'm taking the first steps towards making it mine. Scary? Totally! Exciting? You bet'cha! It wouldn't be worth doing if I didn't have to stretch myself a bit and do some more growing.
So, here's to moving, changing, growing, believing, accepting and good things happening!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
let go
I found this piece too, which I originally wrote in January 2011. I wish that I thought it was still so easy...
This new year started off with a bang. Lots of exciting things happening in my life, that I'm savoring and keeping close for now. But let me tell you, good things are happening.
Last week, I met with a good friend who has the gift of helping others to see themselves the way God sees them. I love meeting with her to talk about life, ask questions and learn how to focus myself more fully through God's lens. As we talked last week, I felt impressed to focus on living the life I've had playing out in my heart for a while. You know, the life for which I've always secretly wished and kept under wraps, because it all seemed too fragile to put out in the open, and I know you know, because you too have wishes and hopes hiding out in your heart.
So, this week in just the few days where I've practiced focusing on letting go and just letting my dreams and hopes turn into reality, some fun and interesting things have happened. My heart has been lighter, happier, more full of hope. My smile has been easier and less strained. I am so absolutely full of contentment, resolve and happiness I could just swim in it, spend the afternoon lazing about in the utter decadence of it all. Because, really it feels so utterly decadent to feel this contented. It's like, I've been holding myself back for a really long time and suddenly now I'm not.
Answers to a problem came easily to me in the middle of the night, causing me wake up and lose a half night's sleep, but suddenly I knew how to articulate everything I wanted to say in a situation with which I'm struggling. My faith has grown roots 200 feet deep overnight it seems and it's an amazing feeling. And the resolve that comes with such an explosion of faith is steadying and freeing.
Happiness is meant to be this year, and I'm going to focus on pulling it out and making it last as long as I can. I have this image of pulling a piece of taffy out until the strings are so thin and tenuous that they break, but it doesn't matter because it's still taffy. I'm going to savor each moment, no matter how small, revel in the explosion of flavor and sweetness to every last drop, and just be happy.
I am in awe when I stand back and look at all this, because it's all so easy. Easier than I ever imagined to just let go and truly put it all in God's hands and say, "I trust you. Take these dreams of mine, take this heart of mine and make it all real." I know it might not all turn out they way I want or the way I dreamed, but I have learned from experience, both bitter and sweet, that when God is let go then what happens in my life is so much better than I could have ever imagined or dreamed for myself.
Here's to the year
of happiness
of letting go of dreams and letting God do his work
of dreams becoming realities in ways that are so much better than I ever dreamed.
It's all possible, I just know it.
This new year started off with a bang. Lots of exciting things happening in my life, that I'm savoring and keeping close for now. But let me tell you, good things are happening.
Last week, I met with a good friend who has the gift of helping others to see themselves the way God sees them. I love meeting with her to talk about life, ask questions and learn how to focus myself more fully through God's lens. As we talked last week, I felt impressed to focus on living the life I've had playing out in my heart for a while. You know, the life for which I've always secretly wished and kept under wraps, because it all seemed too fragile to put out in the open, and I know you know, because you too have wishes and hopes hiding out in your heart.
So, this week in just the few days where I've practiced focusing on letting go and just letting my dreams and hopes turn into reality, some fun and interesting things have happened. My heart has been lighter, happier, more full of hope. My smile has been easier and less strained. I am so absolutely full of contentment, resolve and happiness I could just swim in it, spend the afternoon lazing about in the utter decadence of it all. Because, really it feels so utterly decadent to feel this contented. It's like, I've been holding myself back for a really long time and suddenly now I'm not.
Answers to a problem came easily to me in the middle of the night, causing me wake up and lose a half night's sleep, but suddenly I knew how to articulate everything I wanted to say in a situation with which I'm struggling. My faith has grown roots 200 feet deep overnight it seems and it's an amazing feeling. And the resolve that comes with such an explosion of faith is steadying and freeing.
Happiness is meant to be this year, and I'm going to focus on pulling it out and making it last as long as I can. I have this image of pulling a piece of taffy out until the strings are so thin and tenuous that they break, but it doesn't matter because it's still taffy. I'm going to savor each moment, no matter how small, revel in the explosion of flavor and sweetness to every last drop, and just be happy.
I am in awe when I stand back and look at all this, because it's all so easy. Easier than I ever imagined to just let go and truly put it all in God's hands and say, "I trust you. Take these dreams of mine, take this heart of mine and make it all real." I know it might not all turn out they way I want or the way I dreamed, but I have learned from experience, both bitter and sweet, that when God is let go then what happens in my life is so much better than I could have ever imagined or dreamed for myself.
Here's to the year
of happiness
of letting go of dreams and letting God do his work
of dreams becoming realities in ways that are so much better than I ever dreamed.
It's all possible, I just know it.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
awake at 3 am... again
Sometimes waking up at 3 am and then going back to bed three hours later is a good thing. It's very quiet with only the occasional sound of air moving as a car drives past. This quietness gives me space to breathe, and just be quiet myself. It's very quiet all the way deep into my soul, and although I'm feeling a little stressed in the head, I have the biggest smile on my face right now. I'm ready to crawl back into bed and sleep for a few more hours. I know I'll wake up when I'm ready.
I read this: Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence and felt peace come in and recharge my soul. I'm ready.
Here are a few of the gems:
""...Therefore, let not your hearts faint. … Mine angels shall go up before you, and also my presence, and in time ye shall possess the goodly land.” What goodly land? Well, your goodly land. Your promised land. Your new Jerusalem. Your own little acre flowing with milk and honey. Your future. Your dreams. Your destiny. I believe that in our own individual ways, God takes us to the grove or the mountain or the temple and there shows us the wonder of what His plan is for us."
In speaking about the gift of personal revelation from God:
...the Lord has said, “I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart.” I love the combination there of both mind and heart. God will teach us in a reasonable way and in a revelatory way—mind and heart combined—by the Holy Ghost. “Now, behold,” He continues, “this is the spirit of revelation; behold, this is the spirit by which Moses brought the children of Israel through the Red Sea on dry ground.” Doctrine and Covenants 8:2-3
That same spirit of revelation that prompted Moses to part the Red Sea, enabling the escape of the children of Israel from Pharaoh's army, yes that same spirit, is what God sends to us today when we ask him for his help. Pretty amazing to stop and think about for a minute. We are so loved by our Father in Heaven.
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.” Hebrews 10:35-36
Good stuff. Thanks to my good friend Angela in NZ for sending me the link to this sermon. Just one of the many reasons why I love you.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
walking towards
Walking away isn't easy. And the urge to stop and take one last look at what is being left behind is natural, but at times can cloud the already made decision, causing enough hesitation or doubt to make that break a bit sticky and a little less clean.
The gospel of Luke urges us to remember "Remember Lot's wife" (Luke 17:32). She looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:25). Interesting how God was doing everything he could to save Lot and his family and had even saved them, and yet Lot's wife, in the middle of being saved, looked back.
I do this so often, look back instead of looking forward. Instead of focusing on what and who the prize is, I tend to focus on the path I've already trod. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, inspired by the devotional reading a friend shared with me the other morning:
"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Phillipians 3:13-14).
Wow! What focus and strength there is in "...[r]eaching forth unto those things which are before". How I wish I could be better at this.
I remember the few times in my life when I have shut the door and walked away not looking back, entirely sure that I made the right decision. And I remember too, that those times didn't feel so much like walking away, as much as they felt like walking towards. Walking towards God's true plan for me. Walking towards the person I truly am and want to be. Walking towards the light and the warmth of God's love for me. Walking towards my mission in life. Walking towards the truest happiness I could hope for. Walking towards the best and the better things in life.
I can still remember those moments clarity of thought and purpose, the correctness of the direction I was chose. At times it was like walking from dark into light; into a place where suddenly I could breathe, or where everything in me lined up agreement and there was no tension. Sometimes this lasted for a while and other times it was fleeting, just long enough to get me turned around walking towards Him. These are good places to be and good reminders.
Looking back isn't all bad; after all the unexamined life isn't worth living. But spending too much time in examination can halt one's progress forward. There is a time for self examination and looking back. There is also a time for setting the past aside, putting it God's hands to reconcile or clean up, and moving forward reaching forth unto things before.
And so I'm here, trying to walk towards--towards light, towards Him. I'm not doing it perfectly, but I am doing it. The point isn't to do it perfectly, but just to walk towards.
The gospel of Luke urges us to remember "Remember Lot's wife" (Luke 17:32). She looked back and was turned into a pillar of salt (Genesis 19:25). Interesting how God was doing everything he could to save Lot and his family and had even saved them, and yet Lot's wife, in the middle of being saved, looked back.
I do this so often, look back instead of looking forward. Instead of focusing on what and who the prize is, I tend to focus on the path I've already trod. I've been thinking a lot about this lately, inspired by the devotional reading a friend shared with me the other morning:
"Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus" (Phillipians 3:13-14).
Wow! What focus and strength there is in "...[r]eaching forth unto those things which are before". How I wish I could be better at this.
I remember the few times in my life when I have shut the door and walked away not looking back, entirely sure that I made the right decision. And I remember too, that those times didn't feel so much like walking away, as much as they felt like walking towards. Walking towards God's true plan for me. Walking towards the person I truly am and want to be. Walking towards the light and the warmth of God's love for me. Walking towards my mission in life. Walking towards the truest happiness I could hope for. Walking towards the best and the better things in life.
I can still remember those moments clarity of thought and purpose, the correctness of the direction I was chose. At times it was like walking from dark into light; into a place where suddenly I could breathe, or where everything in me lined up agreement and there was no tension. Sometimes this lasted for a while and other times it was fleeting, just long enough to get me turned around walking towards Him. These are good places to be and good reminders.
Looking back isn't all bad; after all the unexamined life isn't worth living. But spending too much time in examination can halt one's progress forward. There is a time for self examination and looking back. There is also a time for setting the past aside, putting it God's hands to reconcile or clean up, and moving forward reaching forth unto things before.
And so I'm here, trying to walk towards--towards light, towards Him. I'm not doing it perfectly, but I am doing it. The point isn't to do it perfectly, but just to walk towards.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
ya gotta have faith
If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. -Matthew 17:20
...yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words. Now, we will compare the word unto a seed. Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves—It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me. -Alma 32:27-28
I was reading this devotional address on faith. It helped me remember my aspects of my own faith, and in whom my faith is placed.
Monday, January 24, 2011
arms wide open
I was so struck by this conversation about the Power of Living Vulnerably. It brought the following images to mind:
Outside the box is an uncertainty about the path ahead. It's just a little scary to put one foot in front of the other and move forward into that moment of darkness before seeing the light again. At first it's all black, but after a bit there's a soft glow illuminating the hand in front of your face as you gingerly move forward feeling for and protecting yourself from any obstacles ahead. Soon your hand drops down to the side and swings back and forth with arms as you begin to move confidently forward into the light, forward on the path.
Sometimes the path is a wide expanse, a yellow brick road paving the way to Oz, and the walk is easy, comfortable and enjoyable. Sure, "There are lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" but it's okay. There is room for dancing and singing on this road. Room for adventure. Room to throw your arms open wide, toss your head back and twirl for no reason whatsoever. Room to skip freely, propelling yourself forward, feet barely touching the ground for the joy of it. Arms open wide to invite in the joy, the love, the light, the living.
Other times it's a narrow precipice with a sharp drop off both sides into endlessness. There is no dancing here, no room to move freely. Instead your feet move gingerly forward, feeling for a toe hold. Your arms long to be clutched protectively around your heart, but instead are held out as an aid to help you keep balance. In the next instant your arms are flailing wildly as you struggle to say upright and keep the balance. The light seems so dim, it barely illuminates what's there and you simply can't keep your hand in front of your face, you're so busy fighting to keep balance. And with your arms open wide you feel more vulnerable than ever, unwittingly inviting in the hope, the strength, the struggle, and the peace, the balance.
Sometimes you fall barely catching yourself with one finger, scrambling to get back on that path, desperate to find sure footing, chest heaving and burning at the effort of getting up again.
Other times you fall with a satisfying splat right into the middle of the patch of green grasses and bright flowers in the middle of of the path. Resting for a moment under trees of coolness and light. Enjoying the beauty that is there in that place where you stop to rest.
Oh, the life you have on that path. The unexpected corners. The breathtaking views at the top. A sunrise-new beginning. A sunset-closing out. The rockiness, the jumble, the upside-down-ness of the path. It's just part of the journey. And that path you're on is your own no matter how wide or narrow the way. And the best part, you are never alone on that path.
Especially when you fall, arms flailing wildly, outstretched, hoping for something, someone to stop the fall, and He does. He enters into your open arms, and sometimes almost imperceptibly wraps his own arms around you, calming the fall, enveloping your heart. He waits patiently until you can feel him and know He was always there. The One who caught you by the finger and lifted you back up. The One who cushions the blow and sometimes even takes it. He is the one always there with you, recognized or not.
So here's what I realized about the power of living vulnerably for me: Living with my arms wide open, opening myself up means that I am open to God directing my life and showing me the path. Being vulnerable means being humble. Being imperfect. Not knowing the answers. Not being able to see the end. Falling in love again with no guarantees. And really are there ever any guarantees where love is concerned? Living vulnerably is about taking risks in life and love, and having faith that broken hearts are healed, God will always make up the difference, and love is always worth the risk.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
sing!
Tonight I went to my friend's studio and sang. I am so blessed to have ML in my life and her generosity of allowing to me to come and sing once a week at her in home music studio blesses me each week.
It was a good night to be singing. Everything fell into place. I just let go and let it all come out. My body relaxed in all the right ways, and while I need to work on breath control, my voice just soared. I felt divine as I sang and practiced the piece I am singing this weekend for a church event.
Not only was it so great to feel relieved of all the stresses I had been feeling, but to internalize the beautiful message I was singing was wonderful as well. My God doth undertake to guide my future as he has my past... Okay, message received, God. Thanks for the reminder. You'd think I could remember that I had done this just the other day. It's amazing how often I have to be reminded of this and how often I think I have to be in control. I'm learning that every day I have to let go and let Him do his thing.
It was a good night to be singing. Everything fell into place. I just let go and let it all come out. My body relaxed in all the right ways, and while I need to work on breath control, my voice just soared. I felt divine as I sang and practiced the piece I am singing this weekend for a church event.
Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as He has the past.
Not only was it so great to feel relieved of all the stresses I had been feeling, but to internalize the beautiful message I was singing was wonderful as well. My God doth undertake to guide my future as he has my past... Okay, message received, God. Thanks for the reminder. You'd think I could remember that I had done this just the other day. It's amazing how often I have to be reminded of this and how often I think I have to be in control. I'm learning that every day I have to let go and let Him do his thing.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
everybody says don't - my musical history
Everybody says don't
Everybody says can't
Everybody says wait around for miracles
That's the way the world is made
I insist on miracles if you do them,
Miracles might come true,
Then I say don't...
Don't be afraid!
lyrics to Everybody Says Don't from Anyone Can Whistle
lyrics to Everybody Says Don't from Anyone Can Whistle
I discovered this song at a time when I felt that everything in my life was telling me don't. Don't do that or you'll miss out on this. Don't do this or that thing you really want won't happen. Don't dare to dream that your life could be different, that I could be different. I was restless, wanting to have adventures and aching to spread my wings.
In my twenties, there were a lot of things that I didn't do simply because I was too scared. I had a lot of fun and great experiences, but I remember pushing through a lot of fear in order to get there. Fear of failing, fear of trying, fear of succeeding. Fear of everything that I dreamed of for myself.
I needed to hear someone tell me don't be afraid to fail, it's okay, it's just part of the journey. Maybe someone did, but I didn't listen until this song. It went straight to my heart and empowered me to take chances, and I listened to it again and again. I feel that because of this song I was able to work up the nerve to go off to England where some of my long held childhood dreams came true. I remember simply telling God that I was going to England, and when it was time for me to come home I would, but I wanted this chance and I was taking it. It was empowering to learn to take control of my life.
Those years in England were some of the best in my life so far, and most formative. I fell in love for the first and second times. I learned my heart can heal after ending serious relationships and making big mistakes. I traveled to places I had only ever dreamed of, and made friends who are still a huge part of my life today. I learned that God truly does have a plan for me and if I listen and follow him, then I really am happier and that faith and hope replace fear.
It's hard for me to capture sufficiently what this song did for my life. I still struggle with being afraid sometimes, but it's easier now to let go of the fear and move forward with faith. Life doesn't always turn out as planned. Sometimes I do fail, but when I do, I make a noise and get right back up. I've learned that by insisting on miracles and working hard for them, my dreams really can come true.
I say do!
Plus, it's Barbra Streisand belting this song out. It doesn't get much better than this.Link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzBVo8W2uv4&feature=player_embedded
Sunday, May 30, 2010
to be where i am
Remember this post from a few weeks ago about waiting upon the Lord? Well, it seems that I hadn't internalized that message very well.
This may sound a bit random. For several weeks my right foot was itching for no reason whatsoever. I hadn't been bitten by a bug and there's no poison ivy or oak around my house. My skin wasn't red or swollen. I rubbed anti-itch cream into the itchy spot and got no relief. My foot just itched and I couldn't figure out why.
I have been a little anxious lately to get on with my life, or in other words itching to move and do more. I have a good life, right here, right now. I like my both my jobs, civilian and reserves. They are challenging, I'm learning a lot, and having some great opportunities to spread my wings and take charge. I am learning what kind of a leader I am, and getting to know myself better. I am quite happy with my church responsibilities, my friendships and my activities. My life isn't too busy and it's not too dull, in fact I would say it's just about right.
I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about my anxiouness to get on with life. As we talked and shared ideas, I was able to ask myself questions about my current life situation and what I should be doing. As we talked and I listened, I felt strongly impressed that I am in the right place doing the right things, that there are important reasons for me to be right where I am. I really stopped and held on to that feeling. I also spent time trying to internalize this by acknowledging to God that I had heard him and would try my hardest to simply be where I am. Even now while writing this, I'm holding onto that feeling. Call this my public acknowledgement of that feeling.
My mom even called me out of the blue this week to tell me that for several weeks there have been times when she will be thinking of me and feel strongly impressed that I need to be sure to be right where I am supposed to be. She said she didn't know why, but that was what she was feeling, and she wanted to be sure I got the message. I love my mom! Thanks for reinforcing everything I was feeling and thinking.
Over the past few weeks I have tried to remember that where I am is where I am supposed to be. There's still a small part of me that is excited to see what's ahead, but for the most part I am content to focus on the present and the reasons I am where I am right now. I have spent a lot of time thinking about all this and trying to feel God's guidance more fully in my life. I figure if he's telling I'm in the right place, then maybe I should be asking how I can serve him better right here, right now. The answers have been surprising, quiet and not impossible to achieve.
Oh, and my foot has finally stopped itching. I guess I literally was "itching to move forward" in my life, and now that I've acknowledged God's hand a little more fully in my life and internalized the message, the itching has stopped.
I am content to be where I am.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
amazed
i am newly amazed today.
amazed at the totally unexpected and yet absolutely clear way in which god watches over and protects me. a huge obstacle that i've recently been trying to overcome hasn't been removed, but rather explained. i understand why it's there and can now accept it.
the whole process has been quite humbling. but i am amazed, humbled, grateful for the insight, and confident that god really does have it under control and that all is going according to plan. i can move forward.
today was just another reminder to
let go and let god
to quote an old friend.
love and miss ya andy p.!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i'm also amazed by gift of life today.
up until today, i had 2 nieces and 8 nephews.
niece number 3 was born today on her mother's birthday.
we've been waiting so long for another little girl to join our family.
welcome little lilly, and happy birthday to mom, nickolee.
images of lillies from: commons.wikimedia.org
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