hope

"Eventually you'll remember and it will only hurt a little."

'Tis true. Time does heal all wounds. 
Perspective is a good thing.

At first I missed him so much it took my breath away.
My heart gasped for air.
My gut clenched waiting for safety.
Panic at the thought of being alone.
My inner rhythmn gone.

Then I would remember why.
Why I chose to walk forward.
Why the hurt of separation was better than all the hurt of staying.
All the ways I couldn't be me with him.

Years later it doesn't hurt as much.
But sometimes, when I sit alone
and remember it does hurt, just a little.
Not because I walked away from what could have been,
but rather at memories of my self betrayal.
How for a little while I lost me
and ignored the small voice in my heart.
That voice that hasn't led me wrong yet.

So, now when I remember it only hurts a little.
I remember too the lessons I learned.
The hard way.
And then hope.

Hope comes softly, brightly and stays.

from: commons.wikimedia.org