today

today is a day when i can choose
who i want to be.
if i want to change or be the same,
full of experience or regret,
strong, happy, content or grateful.
today is full of possibility.

today i can stop and think, go for a walk.
today i can see the horizon ahead and where i want to be,
and turn around and look back on my path
to see where i am from.

today i am grateful for...
friends
who love without judgement,
inspire, support
laugh, cry, hug
are there
push me to be better
hang out
have fun
talk and listen.

family
who make my life complete
teach me about faith and strength
being true
staying the course
frustrate the heck out of me
inspire me to the end
share
dream
create joy and laughter
love.

god
who loves me and i him.
lets me feel him in my life
who forgives and encourages
has a plan
answers prayers
changes my heart and mind
renews my spirit
gives me time
says no and yes
gives me adventure
has patience with me.

today i can
stop and listen
move and do
be quiet and plan
take action
sing and dance
read, laugh
smile, jump
sleep, read
watch, listen
write, share
think, choose
be content
do whatever i want
whenever i want.

today is my birth day,
and so
i celebrate my life
my choices
my being
my friends and family, my god.
me.

today is the first day of the rest of my life.
today is a gift.

image from: ebibleteacher.com

winning the battle

i'm losing the battle with myself right now.

i've been struggling to find the motivation to lose weight and get my butt in gear for three months, and it's just not happening.  i lost a lot of weight when i was deployed and i've now gained it all back, plus a little more.  not good, not good at all.

so, i've now invested in a well known diet plan to get myself started.  i refuse to let money go to waste, so i'm hoping this will be the jump start i need to start the weight loss and change my eating habits.

my work out plan is off to a good start.  i'm logging miles for a trip to the mississippi river in a competition at work to see who can get there first.  it's only 900 miles, so it feels doable.  right?

fingers crossed.

i'm so going to win this battle!

image from: nedarc.org

spring

spring is in the air.

i can see it in the bright blue sky,

in the sunlight that stays longer each evening,

in the melting mountains of snow,

and the green grass starting to raise up towards light and warmth.
spring...

big sigh of contentment.

image from here

feeling better is a blessing

i have been sick for about two weeks.  again.

complete with major nasal congestion, headaches, low grade fevers, hoarseness, a very large and painful cold sore, along with feelings of having been hit by a truck.  i self medicated with lots of kleenex, vitamin water, zicam, tylenol cold sinus, chicken noodle soup and toast. 

this time i went to the doctor early on and got antibiotics.  i'm on day four of the antibiotics and i already feel so much better.  it's amazing and i'm so thankful. 

i wasn't looking forward to another four weeks of misery, which is what happened last november, because i couldn't get into the doctor early enough.  as a result i got bronchitis and was even more miserable.  and this was all after i got my first flu shot in about three years.  ha.

the short of it is, i'm very thankful for feeling so much better. 

what a blessing it is.

and i really can relate to calvin.

comic strip from:  gocomics.com

more on making change

This is one of the posts I rescued from the cancellation of my MySpace account.  I'm not sure what inspired me to write this, but I seem to recall watching the movie Stranger Than Fiction, around the time I wrote this.  I believe I had also been reading too much Shakespeare, Jane Austen and Jasper Fforde, thus accounting for the use of big words and the somewhat uppity tone of the writing.

Written at some point during 2007:

It may be the unexpected moment that in a flash of inspiration forces a change of perspective, a change of character or a change of direction. However, the moment, the inspiration, the catalyst for change can only happen when searching for something or if not searching, at least being open to newness. Moments of wanting something different, something new in life can often be the maker of change, but wanting is not enough. Wanting is passive, inactive, sedentary. Personal transformation is not any of this nor does it happen while sitting around.

It usually does not happen overnight or in a moment. That is not to say that certain catastrophic events don't have the capacity to alter life's course in an instant, but more often it's a deep seated desire for something more, something better. However, in human beings this kind of change of character or change of heart, does not typically occur in an instant. Profound personal transformation requires sustained effort, not sporadic half attempts. The momentum of effort nurtures the ability of change in character and heart. It is effort, hard, not easy, not simple, not halfway, that brings change about. It's a series of instances of actions, assertiveness and passion. A person must go out on a limb, and take risks.

What is the moment of inspiration, of desire for something different that spurs the such a metamorphisis? It is unique to each individual, who will recognize when it comes to knock. In spite of the difficulty, the possibility of amelioration often is motivation enough for the person who wants it.

i ♥ c & h

calvin and hobbes is one of my favoritest things in the whole wide world.

calvin helps me keep my life in context.  it could always be so much worse.

i always laugh. a lot.

did i mention that i laugh a lot?

calvin is also very existential.  he tries to figure out the meaning of life.

he believes in living life to its fullest and finest, and sharing it all with his best-est friend.

i've often wondered the same thing.

there are days when i so can relate to calvin. 
that's why i love him so.

i really do ♥ calvin & hobbes.

all cartoon strips from here:  comics.dp.cx

that feeling of something coming

I wrote the following post just over two years ago.  Little did I know that about six months later I would be heading to Afghanistan and giving up a year of my life to that endeavour.  Something amazing was coming, I just had no idea what it was going to be. I love that from time to time God lets me in on His plan.  Well, at least He gives me a heads up.  I've been feeling that way again.  It's making me a little nervous, but excited.

Here's another of the posts I saved from MySpace, written on 16 March 2007:

When you least expect it something happens and all of a sudden you're willing to take some risks. That's where I'm at right now. I'm ready to take some risks. I'm ready to make a move and make some major changes in my life.

I have this sense of anticipation that something really amazing is coming my way and I need to be ready, 'cause it's gonna be life changing. It's exciting and I like it. But..., I've had this feeling before and it was a total let down. Sometimes I think God has a sense of humor and just likes to play with me. But then I think it's just life and my undying optimism that good things are always gonna come my way.

A couple of months ago I was robbed at gunpoint less than a block away from my home. It scared the hell out of me! That was a wake up call, and it really shook me up for a couple of days. I still get nervous when people walk behind me on the street. This made me sit up and start thinking about what I wanted in my life and how much power I have.

I decided that I refused to give that man anymore power in my life, and that I would move forward. Essentially that is what risk does, it forces us to move forward. Risk compels a decision that has been put off for fear of something not working or getting hurt.

Wow! I can't think of anything else to write right now. It's past midnight and I'm a little delirious for lack of sleep. I'm getting old. Sleep is now a major necessity in my life. Ciao for now.

image from: watsonswildlife.com

a glimpse of the past: terra cotta warriors

just over two years ago, i was planning a trip.  it was to be the trip of a lifetime, to a place i'd long dreamt of seeing.  it was not meant to be.  instead i deployed to afghanistan and that was the closest i got.  this weekend i got a little closer.

i caught a glimpse of what that trip would have been as i spent an hour wandering among a few of the curiosities of the Qin empire, which were on display here in dc.  the terra cotta warrior exhibit was small, but fascinating.  there were only about a dozen actual terra cotta warriors and horses on display, along with weapons, tools, and recreations of the creative process for the warriors and horses.

no photographs were allowed inside the exhibit, but we were allowed to photograph a replica.

i've always been curious about these lifesize replicas of an army frozen in perfect military formation, surrounding the first emperor's tomb.  i remember reading about the terra cotta warriors in the national geographic magazine, and since then i have wanted to see them and the great wall.  well, at least if i never make there in person, i can now say that i saw some of them.

image from: nationalgeographic.com

i learned a lot.  for instance, emperor Qin was about 13 years old when he began construction on his tomb.  he commanded that each soldier and horse be distinct with their own markings and faces.  there was also a model of a palace, which when it caught fire burned for three months.  this palace had been deemed unworthy by the emperor before it caught fire, and construction on a new palace had begun.  actually, the emperor had several palaces because he was paranoid of being assassinated.  rightfully so, as there was at least one attempt on his life. 

fascinating stuff.  there's loads more to read online, and NG has some of the best here.
enjoy!  i did.