things that made me smile

* being sick. yes, i was absolutely miserable, but it was nice to have a reason to just stop and rest and do nothing. i'm glad that i'm on the mend.

* friends and missionaries who helped me take care of josiah when i wasn't able to walk him. thank you all.

* reading good books and watching fun movies.

* crocheting hats. i'm having  fun figuring out new patterns. it's like putting a puzzle together sometimes or trying to translate a something. thankfully, even when i have completely messed up the pattern the hats have turned out okay. (i'll tell you about the hat project another time.)

* holding a bouncy baby boy at church. little m was so much fun and friendly. he has the best smile.

* skype is a wonderful thing. i felt so blessed to be able to watch two of my nephews open their christmas presents. it was almost as good as being there. they loved the bat cave and the littlest one singing the batman theme song was too cute. my sister has skype too now so that means i can see her family too.

* lots and lots of quiet time lately. it's been good for me.

* a birthday celebration with lovely ladies. what a fun night!

* christmas decorations and lights.

* talking with my mom almost every day when i was sick. thanks for checking up on me.

* hosting the church singles potluck. it was a lovely evening and having the house full of wonderful people really was fun.

* a friend who dropped off breakfast and christmas gift while i was sick, and even though he was having a hard time himself.

* singing in the christmas choir for church. i loved that we sang old, familiar carols that simply resonated the truest meanings of the season.

12th day of christmas

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would give Him a lamb,
If I were a Wise Man,
I would do my part,—
But what I can I give Him,
Give my heart.

~Christina Rossetti

11th day of christmas

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away.
Eva Logue

10th day of christmas

"It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!"... Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!" ~Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

I really do love the the Grinch. He's such a mean, small-hearted, old, green wart of a creature. And yet, somehow, the Christmas spirit reaches him and changes his heart. Even without references to Baby Jesus and God, this fun fable packs such a wallop of truth.

things to do when you're sick and bored for a week

sleep, of course, if you can. but if you can't then i suggest...

read a lot. i quite enjoyed more of percy jackson's adventures in the heroes of olympus series. yes, it's juvenile fiction but i wanted something entertaining and light to read and this fit the bill. i read the first three books while i was sick and enjoyed them so much. i can't wait until next fall when the fourth book comes out.

watch a little online tv to get caught up. i really do like once upon a time, and i'm anxious to find out what's happened with some of my favorite characters. my latest guilty pleasure that is absolutely awful (it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion and i can't look away), last resort. oh, and my other guilty pleasure, go on (this one just makes me laugh and laugh). doctor who is always good on netflix.

movies to watch: i really enjoyed the best exotic marigold hotel; i highly recommend it. the cast is superb--judi dench, bill nighy, maggie smith, tom wilkinson, just to name a few. i also re-watched one of my favorites the other sister with juliette lewis and diane keaton. this movie leaves me in happy tears every time i watch it. so much joy and love.

eat a whole case of clementimes--i hear that vitamin c is good for you.
lots of chicken noodle soup--the warm broth feels really good on a sore throat.
toast and saltines.
apple cider--i heat it up in the microwave for a minute and it's absolutely divine. helps to cut phlegm too.
cranberry pomengranate juice. sooooooooooo good.
drink lots of water. lots and lots of water.
robitussin dm is good stuff. it worked the best out of everything i tried.
halls sugar-free blueberry cough drops.
a combination of tylenol and ibuprofen. oh and a little flexerol for stiff muscles can be really fun.

way too much time on facebook. i was really bored.
angry bird star wars--so much fun.
writing blog posts.
lots of phone calls to my mom and dad. they always make me feel better. thanks.
text with friends and siblings. words with friends. draw something.

i watched this a few times. the star just warmed my heart right up.


and then i found this... a fun interpretation. "brilliant! they won't be expecting that!"

9th day of christmas

God put Santa Claus on earth to remind us that Christmas is ‘sposed to be a happy time. ~Bill Keane’s "Family Circus"

8th day of christmas

Fail not to call to mind, 

in the course of the twenty-fifth of this month, that the 

Divinest Heart that ever walked the earth was born on that day; and then smile and enjoy yourselves for the rest of it; 

for mirth is also of Heaven's making. 

~Leigh Hunt

Christmas was always fun at our house. I liked being the Christmas elf and pulling out all the decorations and putting them up. I felt like I made our house look as though it were a set for a Christmas movie with garland everywhere, stockings, two trees and lots of yummy food.

My brother Chris and I started the tradition of baking Christmas cookies together. We would read the cookie cookbook and come up with our list of ten or so types of cookies we wanted to try. We would then carefully make our shopping list. Chris would think long and hard about which jam, apricot, strawberry or raspberry, for his favorite shortbread cookies with jam--he took these cookies very seriously and would always make them. I enjoyed baking cookies with Chris.

On Christmas Eve Dad would lean his recliner back, prop his scriptures up on his tummy, move his glasses down his nose and read the Christmas scriptures from Luke in the Bible, and 3 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. He would then read the Boyer family story of Old Christmas and how at midnight on 6 January his family would go out to the barn because legend had it that the animals would speak again as they did originally to welcome the Christ Child. Upon returning to the house there would be treats and presents for the family.

I spent Christmas with my brother R2 and his family. As we were getting ready to read the Christmas stories my brother disappeared into the bedroom for a few minutes. When he came out, he was wearing a pair of old overalls with a pillow stuffed down them. He walked over to the recliner, leaned it back, propped his scriptures up on the pillow, and pushed the glasses down his nose. Once I stopped laughing so hard, he read the familiar Christmas stories to his family and I. He later said that he did all this so I would feel at home.

So, what is Christmas without a little mirth and enjoyment? Without decorations and yummy treats? Without fun and love? These things all combine to make traditions we remember and cherish.

7th day of christmas

So if a Christian is touched only once a year, the touching is still worth it, and maybe on some given Christmas, some quiet morning, the touch will take. ~Harry Reasoner

I remember a Christmas Eve in Chile where I served as a missionary. My companion and I were just a few blocks away from the house where we lived. The streets were chaotic. Traffic was backed up and people were honking and shouting angrily at each other. 

Suddenly two men burst from a service garage in the midst of an argument and one was swinging a four foot iron bar at the other. He was so angry he wasn't thinking about the fact that he was doing could possibly kill the other person.

We jumped back to avoid them, and then continued up the street. We watched as woman, barefoot and pregnant, was chased out of her house by a man, presumably her husband, with a broken bottle. Thankfully, she was able to get into a neighbor's home.

As we continued up the street, it felt as though my companion and I were in a bubble of heavenly protection. It was such a distinct feeling that I will never forget it.

Once we reached home, I remember praying that somehow the Christmas spirit would enter into the hearts of those people we had just encountered. I think of that night often, and remember the stark contrast between the Christmas spirit and the spirit of contention and hatred that those people were acting on.

I still pray that somehow the spirit of Christmas--the spirit of Christ--will enter and soften their hearts. Who knows maybe someday they will choose it.

6th day of christmas

I sometimes think we expect too much of Christmas Day. We try to crowd into it the long arrears of kindliness and humanity of the whole year. As for me, I like to take my Christmas a little at a time, all through the year. And thus I drift along into the holidays - let them overtake me unexpectedly - waking up some fine morning and suddenly saying to myself: "Why, this is Christmas Day!" ~David Grayson

how high a price

It takes a lot to get me to write about politically charged subjects and share them on my blog. I know I don't have a large readership, but still I don't want to attract the ugliness that exists in political discourse these days. I've been working on this essay since the shooting in Colorado and it seems that now is the right time for me to share my thoughts. The irony of finishing this essay on ninth anniversary of the day my brother died in a ski accident, or that it's eight days before Christmas is not lost on me.

For a long time I have been thinking about the right to bear arms, and the risks involved. Those Many who choose to carry a weapon, do so, presumably, because they want to protect themselves and loved ones. And that to me is a sad statement about humanity and our society as whole. The fact that we need to protect ourselves against violence from others breaks my heart. This is not who we are meant to be.

I learned how to shoot when I was growing up, and I didn't like it. I knew that what I held in my hands could be used to deliberately end a life. I didn't want that responsibility, even then.

I carried weapons every where I went in Afghanistan. I was prepared to use them. While I was in pre-deployment training, I knew that I had to overcome my reluctance to point a gun at a fellow human being. So in my head, I went there. I went to that place where I could actually point a gun at another person, pull the trigger and watch what happened as a bullet struck and did mortal damage. I went there again and again, because I didn't want to be the weak link and have someone on my team be in danger because of my inability to act.

My heart broke again and again as I went there. I cried long and hard about what I was forcing myself to do. This was the stuff of nightmares and horrid fantasy, and I was confronting it in my head. There are movies that I will never watch because I know I will see awful violence in them, and there I was reluctantly and deliberately creating my own violent fantasy movie. I prayed, as I never prayed before that I would be able to do what I needed to do to protect others, that I would be able to actually shoot someone to stop them from hurting someone on my team. Imagine that paradox; praying to my Father in Heaven, the creator of all life, to be able to kill and end the life of His child if needed.

Thankfully, I didn't have to use those weapons while I was there. Every member of my team returned home safe and without lasting physical injury. I came back home, boxed up my horrific fantasies, made peace with myself and God, and got on with my life.

Life in Washington, DC isn't always fun. I was once mugged at gun point. Being on the receiving end of that kind of violation is scary, and having a gun pointed at my mid-section... Well, just try to imagine it yourself. My home was broken into and belongings stolen. Both times, I was safe. I only lost things which were easily replaced.

Had I been carrying a weapon would it have made a difference in either case? No, I don't believe so. I walked away safe from the mugging because I did what the perpetrator told me to do; I handed over my purse and phone. I was not present when my home was robbed. If I had a weapon, chances are it would have been stolen and fallen into the hands that could have used it for ill. I walked away from both incidents refusing to give another ounce of power to the individuals responsible. I made clear choices to let go and move forward.

I have also made a choice not to carry or own a weapon. I believe that if you do, then you must be prepared to use it. You must be able to picture yourself using it against someone who might do you harm. Having been there and done that, that's not how I want to live my life. Nor is that who I want to be.

Think about it for a second... A person who carries a gun is prepared to use it. Whether a person has obtained the gun legally or not, they are prepared to use it to injure another person or end a life. And people who choose to do this legally are supposed to make me, all of us, feel safer somehow.

The right to bear arms comes with a great risk. And everyday there are more and more people left to wonder if the risk is worth it, because they've experienced the price first hand.

I do not know if anyone with a weapon could have stopped the killer in the movie theater, or in a school, or a church. It seems foolish to me to play the "if game" and it does not change a thing. It also seems a bit arrogant and disrespectful. None of us truly know what we would do in a situation until we are there.

I understand and have faced the hard realities of our day head on in some very personal ways. All I know is that for me, right now, owning a gun is something I am not willing to do. I know this might change at some point and I am okay with that possibility.

We need meaningful change in our gun laws with regard to assault weapons. We need to somehow make it a little more difficult for people with mental illness or violent histories to get weapons.

Somehow we need to take care of people who have mental illnesses and prevent them doing such violence. This moving and powerful essay by Lisa Long recounts her nightmarish life with her 13 year old son, and the difficulties in getting treatment for him. Her fears that he will become the next monster are real. We need to make changes in how we take care of families like this one. I have no answers and I do not know the correct way to go about doing any of this, but something must change.

As a nation we cannot afford to watch as twenty children are buried in the coming days, and simply say, "No, you cannot take away my right to bear arms. Make no changes to our gun laws, because if you do then my rights will trampled upon." If we do that then we are disrespecting those children and their brokenhearted families who are left paying a price way too high for one man's right to bear arms. We are telling the families of the innocent victims everywhere that the loss of their children and loved ones is indeed the price just right for our right to bear arms. And to me, this is just as horrific as a lone gunman walking into any school, mall, movie theater or church, and killing the innocent.

5th day of christmas

I am the Christmas Spirit—

I enter the home of poverty, causing palefaced children to open their eyes wide, in pleased wonder.

I cause the miser’s clutched hand to relax and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.

I cause the aged to renew their youth and to laugh in the old glad way.

I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood, and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.

I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways with filled baskets, leaving behind hearts amazed at the goodness of the world.

I cause the prodigal to pause a moment on his wild, wasteful way and send to anxious love some little token that releases glad tears—tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.

I enter dark prison cells, reminding scarred manhood of what might have been and pointing forward to good days yet to be.

I come softly into the still, white home of pain, and lips that are too weak to speak just tremble in silent, eloquent gratitude.

In a thousand ways, I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God, and for a little moment forget the things that are small and wretched.

-I am the Christmas Spirit.  ~E.C. Baird

Thank heavens for the Christmas spirit. It truly does exist and changes despair and sorrow into hope and joy.

Here's a post from last year that talks about why I love the Christmas spirit.

The Hilltop Star in Paradise, Utah by Lisa Clawson. She sent this photo to me on Instagram and I love it. It brings back so many memories.

4th day of christmas

I have always thought of Christmas time as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely. ~Charles Dickens

So, yesterday I was in a mood... a very bad mood. Yet here I was hanging up thirty feet of pine garland with lights outside yesterday, decorating a wreath for our front door, and finishing putting ornaments and icicles on the Christmas tree. And all while in a very mood.

My mood didn't even change when I listened to the First Presidency Christmas Devotional. I knew that listening to God's word and Christmas carols was what I needed, but I didn't feel the effects immediately. I sat and listened to Pres. Monson's sermon on serving, and Josiah (the dog) sat next to me begging for attention which I was happy to give him. There was a glimmer of change somewhere in my heart.

Then I had some errands to run and knew they involved going to a box store that begins with the letter T, which I absolutely do not like this time of year, and making some phone calls which I had been putting off for a while now. But I asked my roommate if she needed anything and she did, so off I went with a list in hand and bad attitude in tow. I did my errands and picked up what she needed. I survived the despicable store that begins with a T, stopped at my favorite restaurant on the way home to get food and arrived home with the beginnings of a better mood in sight.

This morning I woke up with a much different heart in place. I am thankful that my prayers were answered and that I felt differently. I'm grateful I know God lives, that I can ask him for help and choose to receive it. I'm thankful I can be in a bad mood and have the space I need to make it better and get over it. I'm thankful that my heart can be changed by the Christmas spirit.

3rd day of christmas

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree:  the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other. ~Burton Hillis

All my siblings and I served served as missionaries for our church, which meant that there were lots of Christmases where we were separated as a family. My brothers R1 and R2, and I were all on missions at the same time. At the time, I think there were three Christmases where we were had missionaries away from home.

I remember the first Christmas we were altogether again. My two youngest brothers were pretty excited to have us all home, as was my sister. I was excited to have our whole family together that year. I don't remember specifics, but I do remember feeling that it would be one of the last times that our family would be together like that. I was very aware that our family was getting older and the dynamics would be changing soon with marriages and new families being started. Before too long, my brother R1 was married and our family started growing and changing.

We've had some really good Christmases since then, and some truly awful ones. As I look back, I'm very grateful for all the different times we shared together. The ways in which we grew up and had fun together, and learned to love each other.  

2nd day of christmas

The magi, as you know, were wise men - wonderfully wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. ~O. Henry

One year my mom wanted new furniture for our newly painted living room. After weeks of shopping she finally made her decisions and told my dad what she wanted. Dad had the shopping list and went over to the local furniture store after work. He came home and told my mom the bad news. Someone else had bought the living room set she wanted. It would be months before the same set would be available. I remember my mom was very disappointed.

Christmas morning arrived and on the tree were white envelopes addressed to my mom. She opened them to find receipts from the furniture store for all the furniture she had chosen plus a few more pieces. Dad was a little sneaky that year...

1st day of christmas

A Christmas quote:
Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you ... to remember the weakness and loneliness of people who are growing old ... Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world ... stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death... Then you can keep Christmas! But you can never keep it alone. ~Henry van Dyke

A Christmas memory:
I remember my Great Grandpa Weeks at the last family Christmas party he attended. He was in a wheelchair, but so thrilled to have so many of his family gathered around him. It was tradition for him to tell the story of his Christmas trumpet.

He decided to wait up for Santa Claus, and sat in the kitchen with his feet on the warm oven door of the old cook stove. He must have been warm and comfortable because he fell asleep. He was awakened by a horn tooting, "Rootootootootoooooo!" And a loud jolly voice called, "Are all the children in the house in bed and asleep?"

Great Grandpa said he never moved so fast. He ran up to bed, jumped under the covers and fell asleep listening as Santa put out the gifts.  The next morning there was a trumpet with his name on it placed on the Christmas tree. 

Now everyone in my family has a little trumpet ornament with a red cord. It helps me to remember Great Grandpa and the time we spent together when I was little. It is one of my favorite Christmas memories.

where do kids come from?

i just had the following conversation with nephew b...

b: aunt christine do you have any kids?

me: no, i don't.

b: oh... well, you should get some.

me: you're right i should.

b: they're only a hundred dollars. get a big one.

me: you know what i need first. i need a husband.

b: oh, well... you should get one of those too.

hmmmmm..... well, he's only 5 years old.

thoughtful thursday: spirit of christmas

When we keep the spirit of Christmas, we keep the Spirit of Christ, for the Christmas spirit is the Christ Spirit. It will block out all the distractions around us which can diminish Christmas and swallow up its true meaning. There is no better time than now, this very Christmas season, for all of us to rededicate ourselves to the principles taught by Jesus Christ. Because He came to earth, we have a perfect example to follow. As we strive to become more like Him, we will have joy and happiness in our lives and peace each day of the year. It is His example which, if followed, stirs within us more kindness and love, more respect and concern for others. Because He came, there is meaning to our mortal existence. Because He came, we know how to reach out to those in trouble or distress, wherever they may be. Because He came, death has lost its sting, the grave its victory. We will live again because He came. Because He came and paid for our sins, we have the opportunity to gain eternal life. (President Thomas S. Monson, 2011 First Presidency Christmas Devotional)

things that made me smile...

yes, i've been neglectful of my blog lately. i have had lots to smile about though.

* i really like the people with whom i work. they're nice, thoughtful, hard working and friendly. i was sad to see some good people leave this week. lunch time will never be the same again.

* people are so generous. i'm constantly amazed by their generosity.
   - at work i'm helping with the cfc. we surpassed our fundraising goal this week, and people will continue to give and give generously.
   - at church i'm heading the hat project, where we've teamed up with children's hospital to provide 500 hats for the oncology unit by the end of march. if you're a knitter, crocheter, or sewer, and are interested in helping please let me know.

* lunch with a lovely lady at one of my favorite places. llr is such good company.

* catching up over brunch with a recently married sister chief and friend. it was so nice to talk shop and talk about life with her. i love her perspective.

* an out of town friend came over sunday evening while i was working on a project. it was so nice to spend time with her and catch up on our lives. i'm so thankful for her friendship.

* trying to christmas serenade a friend with miss llm. i learn so much from her and am so grateful for her friendship.

* listening to christmas music just makes me happy.

* josiah, my housemate's dog, really is a good dog. he makes me laugh and feel loved. i love that he likes to sleep by my bed.

* talking to my mom. she's so fun and always up to something.

* i think we're making headway on the mouse situation... finally.

* i'm making lots of little christmas crafts. i need to start on these earlier.

* thick and comfy socks. freshly laundered bed sheets. my winter duvet on the bed. crocheting. cute little felt ornaments. pulling out christmas decorations. a good manicure. interesting books. walks with the dog. hot chocolate. 7th hill pizza. arugula salads. homemade soups. homemade marshmallows.